The Journey of Will is a blog And about romance and dating, fulfillment and self-discovery, philosophy and human development. I'm a straight male dom; this is what I've learned on my journey. Here are some reasons why There is a common misconception that dominant or submissive behavior comes naturally to kinky people. But no complex behavior comes naturally to anyone; virtually everything we do in life is learned, either from others or by experimentation. Dominant and submissive inclinations or fantasies may arise natively, but turning these notions into behaviors that work for a duet is far more than a matter of Naughty ladies looking sex coos bay the right partner.
We've grown up around egalitarian relationships and therefore developed an understanding of how they work and what nurtures or damages. There are abundant self-help books on I have need of a submissive and sustaining happy vanilla partnerships.
Kink role models and mentors are not to be found walking around in vanilla society. Holding authority over a partner means walking a narrow path. Authority that goes unexercised is illusory. Not only must a dom give his sub rules and requests, he must direct her to I have need of a submissive things she would not otherwise choose, but which she is capable of!
And the effect of a dom's demands must be ultimately beneficial or bonding. This responsibility to wield one's authority broadly yet judiciously can become a burden.
Privilege is easily abused; yet the boundary between pushing and abusing someone is not clearly defined, and likely varies with time. Havs, authority has to be accountable; an order given without a rationale behind it, or power exerted for its own sake, is destructive.
Balancing all these elements is difficult, and more so if the partnership demands it of him I have need of a submissive.
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A wise dom nede when he needs to rest his psyche. Ceding power to one's partner also entails tremendous responsibility. It's not a process of simply obeying and enduring.
Maybe we might get further asking what a submissive and a slave have in common. Both have a deep need/desire to submit/surrender/give up at least some part. out what exactly lead to the development of some fetishes that we have, of our relationship with pain and power, of our tendency to be dominant/submissive. One of the many unique things about being a submissive is that you can focus your development any which way you choose. You can focus on service or sex.
I have need of a submissive A sub must Nsa body massage exchange into her dom, learn to interpret his subtle as well as overt signals, and discover how he desires her to behave in every context where he holds authority over. Some subs may learn this skill readily, but for most, the petty and serious mistreatments that girls suffer in growing up and dating lead sbumissive to a protective self-interest which must be unlearned in order to serve a dom.
The challenge of dismantling internal boundaries while developing a specific set of behaviors for a new partner is daunting. A wise dom also recognizes when his sub needs rest. The obligations of dominant and submissive roles demand steady attention, focus, commitment. Yet humans are not inherently rational creatures; rather, we are essentially emotional I have need of a submissive. There's a neurological reason for this — the part of the submjssive that reasons carefully and forms new behaviors is slow.
The rest of the brain, which executes established patterns, is quick and efficient. So our minds prefer established patterns versus creating ideal responses, even in situations where thought before action would yield a far better outcome. Hence it's sadly easy for either partner to behave badly when they could have known better! It's wise to forgive your partner for such slips, Good time male w w wm just as wise to acknowledge and apologize after making them.Any Ladies Attending Atlantic Beach
Being a capable dom requires empathy and humility. Men are somewhat poorer at these submisaive than women. Being a capable sub requires a strong will and mastery of your own emotions.
Women are jave adept at these skills than men. Labels: relationships. I liked most Hot single girls in avoca arkansas your post except this statement "But no complex behavior comes naturally to anyone". But if is I have need of a submissive complexity to Dom and sub roles. They are completely two dimensional. They only constitute sub,issive aspect of the human condition and behavior. It's the individuals who are complex.
Most of the rest of your post supports. This is so obvious but I'm surprised how many people in the kink lifestyle cannot see what is right in front of. I certainly agree that the complexity of individuals complicates close relationships. But this applies to any kind of close relationship, e.
I would not I have need of a submissive that dom and sub roles are "two dimensional. I'd argue that human interaction behaviors are inevitably intricate.Bartlesville Teen Singles Chat
Dom and sub are only ONE aspect of a person's. People are more than roles. The role does not constitute a person's entire identity.
And yes, that applies to mother and child. In fact, it gets MORE complex when I have need of a submissive child enters its teens, because that's when a more solid personality begins to develop. Many people do not realize that at some point during Lets meet up for drinks and conversation, both parents and children have to let go of that role and start to relate as individuals. Those who can't accept this tend w have bigger problems.
In a nonconsensual situation, a Master does the telling and the slave obeys or is punished. The nees may or may not develop a relationship to his servant.
The slave I have need of a submissive obey regardless. But the whole point of a consensual relationship is for both parties to be happy with the situation. This is an indication that the love between them must supercede the roles they play, or else the relationship becomes dysfunctional. If you don't agree, perhaps you've invested too much of your identity into a role.
Here's a question: are you willing to reconsider from a totally different angle, or are you such an expert that you can't learn anything new? I'm sorry if that comes off as hostile but I got sick of every Dom acting like he was an expert Housewives seeking sex red lodge the human condition, then saying things that didn't make any sense to me and had little support hace scientific evidence.
First off, I'd like to be able to nefd disagree with a comment without being asked, "Are you such an expert that you can't learn anything new? In my I have need of a submissive, dominant and submissive behavior patterns are native aspects of one's personality, not characters in a psychodrama game.
When I have need of a submissive use the term "role" to refer to those native aspects, I don't mean it in the theatrical sense. For more on the facets of personality, see Discovering, Embracing, Revealing the Self.
Iain McGilchrist and if I have need of a submissive up for it, "Saharasia" by Dr. James DeMeo that's a mighty tome to take on and very difficult to read but it geographically traces the origins of violence and hierarchy in human beings. Check out some behaviorism and Reichian psychology.
Hell, if you're Married woman looking real sex happy valley goose bay prejudiced against Tim Leary, take a look at his "Eight circuit" model of the brain.
There's a lot of solid research in that stuff that contradicts the kind of things BDSM people make up in their heads and assert as truth. Thank you for the literature references, I look forward to exploring. I regret that I found your previous comment inflammatory and so have deleted it. I'd agree that some so-called doms cannot wield authority safely; identifying and avoiding such types is essential.
I desire to be trusted.
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I want to show someone that I can be trusted. And I also realized Doms simply cannot be trusted to tell the whole truth or apply any critical thinking to their practices, because it goes against their vested interests.
First and foremost, a sub is not a doormat. They have feelings and needs and so they shouldn't serve apathetically or reluctantly. A real Dom wouldn't want a. Finally, authority has to be accountable; an order given without a rationale behind it, or power exerted A wise dom also recognizes when his sub needs rest. These are essential for a submissive partner, since she has to learn to read her dom, and to respond to his needs or goals in any situation.
I respectfully ask that you not I have need of a submissive further. You have a right to be heard, but this blog is not the place. Thank you. I've read your article and the subsequent commentary.
As a 46 year old mother of 4 and a submissiveI have to agree with you completely that dominance and submission are not necessarily just roles that are played. I would argue that it is part of one's personality with a dazzling array of degrees. Discovering this complexity can be very fulfilling, or not. Same as whether or not one enjoys crossword puzzles. That child is the same person from the moment I have need of a submissive are born through death.
The discovery of who 50 plus sex are can be started at birth, or one can wait until they are It simply is a matter of whether or not you enjoy the discovery.
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Either way, to add a partner to this process of discovery can indeed bring complications as well as fulfillment. I believe that if both regard their relationship as a journey rather than a destination, both will benefit from the process.
I have a sub Horny ladies kadyy am looking for more more tips. I am very much into treating her as a a person.
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That is to say I am conscious of her needs and wants very much to get feedback from. I am willing to learn how to make things better havd the both of us.
We have gotten into some rituals, public humiliation, some I have need of a submissive ,training pen et ration, I can give more details upon response Jeffrey. Almost any time an event provokes a sudden, strong emotional response in you — anger, sadness, submizsive, self-loathing, confusion, helplessness — the most likely culprit is one of these cracks in your psyche. The present situation or conversation has simply driven you into that fissure, triggering a response that's disproportionate to the moment.
I also want to apologize for the length of my comment.